Month: March 2012

WTF? Album Covers: OTEP – Smash The Control Machine

Okay now this is WEIRRRD.

Here’s the cover for OTEP’s ‘Smash The Control Machine’.

If you think there’s nothing odd about this cover, you need to look VERY closely at what the family are having for dinner.  Click on the picture to view it full size.  Have a close look at the mum’s pendant too.

The rear cover puts things into better perspective.  Nothing like a nuclear smiley face to brighten up your day.

I love the title track of this album.

Nuff said.

Editorial – Arthur Graham

This is the cover of Editorial.

This is Arthur Graham, the author of Editorial.  [just so you know who to blame for it].

***

Arthur’s a friend of mine.  I’m unsure it’s wise to advertise this, seeing as quite a lot of people who buy this book might ask for their money back, and not being able to lay their hands on Arthur, lay them on me instead.

***

Editorial.  Imagine Kurt Vonnegut Jnr’s ‘Breakfast of Champions’ and ‘The Sirens of Titan’  mixed into one book, then imagine something better than that combination.  You’re getting there.

. . . along with a legend about a snake and someone who both is and isn’t the snake . . .  I give up.

I read this twice and still don’t understand it.

No not like that–it is in English after all.  I mean, while I understood what was going on, I didn’t understand what was going on.  If that makes sense to you.

After reading it, I’m like . . . so what the f*ck was that about?

Which is odd because it’s a fantastic book.

Let’s just take a peek inside.  One great thing is the book has illustrations.  These help in case you get lost along the way.

Yeah, it is a jet-powered toilet!  Sh*t Airlines!  Remember you saw it here first!  And please don’t request an explanation.  No spoilers.

***

This is a frog in a bucket with a man’s head.  For some reason the head is clearly Arthur Graham’s.  This is also in the story.

***

Now for a quick read from the book.

Because he’s such a nice guy, Art has permitted me to print chapter 43 in its entirety for you.  Enjoy.

Chapter 43 ( From Editorial).

XX XXX X XXXX XXX XXXX XX XX XXXX XXX
XXXXX, XX XXXX XX XXX XXX XXXXXX XXX,
XXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XX  XXX
XXXXX XXXX XX XXXXXX XXX.
XX XXXXXX XXXX XX XXXXX X XXXX XX
XXX  XXXXXXX  XXXXXXXX  XX  XX  XXX,
XXXXXXX  XXXX  XX  XXXXXX  X  XXX  XXXX
XXX XXXX XXX XX XXXXXX.
XXXX XXX X XXXXXX XXXX XX, XXX XXXX
XXXX XX XX, XXXX XX XXXX XXX XXXXXXXX
XXX  XXXXXXX.  XXXXXX  XX  XXXXXX  XXXX
XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXX XXX XXX XXXX
XX XXX XXXX XX XX XXXX’X XX XXXXXXXX
XXXX  XX  XXXX  XX,  XXXX  XX  XXX  XXXX
XXXXX  XXX  XXXXXX,  XXXX  XX  XXX  XXXX
XXXXX  XXX  XXXXXXX.  XX  XXXX  XX  XXXXX
XXX  XXXXXXXX  XXX,  XXXXX  XXXXXXXX  X
XXXXXX  XXXXX  XX  XXX  XXXX  XXXXXXX
XXXX XX XXX XXXX’X, XXXX XXXXX.
“XXXX XXX XXXX XXXXX?”
“X XXX’X XXXX….”
XXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXX, XX XXXX.
XXXX  XXX  XXXX  XXX  XXXXX  XX  XXX  XX
XXXX  XXXXXX,  XX  XXX  XXXXX  XXXX
XXXXXXX XXXX.
“XXXXX, XXXX XXX XXX!”
XX XXXX’X XXXX XXXX XXX XXX XX XXX
XXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXX XXX XXXXXXX
XXXX XXX XXXXXX XXXX XX XXX XXXX. XXX
XXXX  XXXX  XXXX  XXX  XXXX  XXXX  XX,
XXXXX XXX, XXX XXXX. XX XXXX XXXXX XX
XXXXXX  XXXX  XXX  XX  XXXX  XXXXX  XX
XXXX, XX XXXXX.
XXXXXX XXXX XXX XXXX XXX XXXXXXX
XXX XXXXXXX’X XXXXXX, XXXX XXX XXXX.
“XXX, XXXXX XXXXXXX?”

“XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!”
“XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!”
XXX  XXX  XXXXX  XXX  XXXX  XXXX
XXXXXXXX XX XXX. XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX
XXX XXX XXXXXX XXX, XXXXXXX XXXXX XX
XXXX  XXXX  X  XXX,  XXXXXXXX  XXXXXX.
XXXXX  XXX  XXX  XXXX.  XX  XXXXXXX  XXX
XXX  XXXXXXX  XXXX  XX,  XXX,  XXXXXXXXX
XXX  XXXXX  XXX  XX  XXXXX  XXX  XXXX,
XXXXX XXX XXX XXXXXXX XX XXXXXX XXX
XX XXXXX.
“XXXX XXXX XX XXX XXXXX XX XXXXX’X
XX XXXXX XXXX?” XX XXXXX.
XX  XXXXX  XXXX  XXX  XXXXXX  XXX
XXXXXXX  XXXXXXXX  XXX  XXXXX  XX
XXXXXX XXXX XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX XXXX
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XXXXXXXX  XXX  XXXX  XXX  XXXXXXXX,  XX
XXXX  XX  XXX  XXXXXXXX  XXXX  XXX  XXXX.
XXXXXXX XXXX.
XXX  XX  XX  XXX  XX  XXXX  XXXXXXX
XXXXX XX XXXX, XXX XXXX XXX XXXX XXX
XXXXX  XX  XXXXXX  XXXXXX  XXX  XXXXXX
XXXXXXX.
“XXXX XXXX XX!” XX XXXX, XXXXXXXXX
XXXXX XXXX XXXX XXXXXX XXXX XXX XXXX
XX  XXX.  XX  XX  XXXXX,  XX  XXX  XX  XXXX
XXXXX XX’X XX XX XXXX XX’X XX XXXXXXX
XXXXX XXXXXXX.
“XXXX,  XXXX  XXX  XXX,  XXXXXX…”  XXX
XXX XXXXX’X XXXXXX.
XXXXXXXX XX XXX, XXXX XXXX’X  XXXX
XXXXXXX  XXXX.  XXX  XX  XXXX  XXXX
XXXXXXXX  XX’X  XXXXX.  XX  XXX  XXXXXX
XXXXXX XX XXXX.
XXXX XX XXXX XX XXXX XXXX XX XXXX
XXX  XXXXXXXX’X  XXXXXX  XXXX  XXX,  XXX
XXXX  XXX  XX  XXX  XXXXXXXXXX,  XXX  XX
XXX  XXXXXX  XXXXXXXXXX  XX  XXX  XX-XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX.

[Wow!  That was intense!  Damn!  Those transsexual leather biker bears are just so sexy!]

***

And almost finally, this is Ouroboros the world snake.  You will notice it has legs.  I assume Arthur decided it was a snake rather than a lizard because its legs are too small to support its weight and it will need to crawl to get anywhere.

You might also note that its tail is in its mouth.  That I’ve no explanation for.

Once again, this is Arthur Graham, author of Editorial.

Note the gun, and the fact that’s he’s been drinking.  Art is obviously a very dangerous man to piss off with assh*le questions like:  ‘Dude what the f*ck did you write this for?’ or ‘Sh*t man, this sucks donkeys, can I have my money back?’.

[Also from this photo we deduce that his wife Jayna likes men with hairy legs.]

***

I advise you to just buy the f*n book and read it.  Even if you don’t like it, you’ll be certain you weren’t ripped off–it’s miles better than just about everything else you’ll find out there to read at the moment.

Click here to buy.

Nuff said.

Big, Little, the Cow, and the Moon.

Hello Everyone,

My story ‘Big, Little, the Cow, and the Moon’ has just been published in ‘Jake’s Monthly (Part 6) Bizarro Anthology’.


I love the cover art.  It makes me think of eating watermelon.

Here’s what publisher Jake Johnson says about the Anthology:

“Welcome to Jake’s Monthly. This literary voyage into the obscure and the bizarre is celebrating its six-month anniversary with Bizarro, a literary movement dedicated to the strangest and most entertaining stories possible.

This volume is intended for people who want a change of pace, an injection of unadulterated, nonsensical fun in their lives, and high-quality stories that they won’t find anywhere else.

These stories contain an ammunition-wearing cow, a horse whisperer, a potato cult, drugs, marriage, murder, surgery, multiple exploding men and Trixie the lap dancer. ”

Nuff Said Everyone.

You can buy it here.  It’s only 99 cents.

Funeral Parade of Roses

Despite my liking for Andy Warhol’s work, I am by no means Gay.

I’m extremely certain of this fact.  My not being Gay, that is.  I’m happily married, and still find the contents of my wife’s underpants as attractive now as when we first met.

So I’m most definitely not Gay.

I like women.

I don’t find men in the least bit attractive.  Transsexuals?  Okay yes,  Very.  But that’s because they look (and act) like women.  So I’m not gay in the least.

At least I don’t think so.

Which brings me to the weird Japanese enigma called Funeral Parade of Roses.

A 1969 black and white masterpiece by Japanese director Toshio Matsumoto.

Loosely a Gay reworking of the Oedipus myth (you remember, the dude who killed his father and married his mother?  Invert that and see what you get!), it transcends that story by degrees of levitation.

There’s an obscene beauty to this movie.

I had no idea what it was about when I began watching it (even the Oedipus linkage only became apparent afterwards when I read online reviews) but I couldn’t stop watching.

And I’d happily watch it again.  More than once even.

Which brings me to a point.  Most ‘minority/interest group’ movies generally end up ruined because rather than simply tell a story, the writer and/or director is trying to make some kind of point, usually in favour of the interest group depicted.  (Black directors make black-empowerment movies, Lesbian directors make Lesbian empowerment movies etc . . .  It’s all gotten a bit unempowering . . .)

I can think of any number of Blaxploitation flicks which do nothing for me because of the amount of ‘anti-white’ emotion/messaging they project at the audience.  AND I’M BLACK!!!.  Watching some of those movies, you imagine the producers simply decided not to bother with plot or quality–a strong ‘race empowerment’ ‘message was deemed sufficient to sell the films to their target audience i.e. the African-American community.

You might say the times have changed.  Maybe they have, but I still watch ‘Superfly’, ‘Foxy Brown’, ‘Coffy’ or the first ‘Shaft’ movie today, and enjoy them, for the pure QUALITY OF THEIR STORIES, while I simply can’t stand many of the others.

What’s my point?  That cinema isn’t a vehicle for getting your point(s) across to the audience.  It’s entertainment, not propaganda.

It’s odd how few filmmakers seem to remember that nowadays.

Toshio Matsumoto didn’t however . . .

So back to Funeral Parade of Roses.  It’s a story about people.  Gay people, true–but PEOPLE nonetheless.  The characters aren’t victims (like they’d be in a Hollywood flick).  They’re shown living their lives, warts and all, with no attempt to make them into ‘ideal’ or ‘better’ Gay people, so we’ll be more accepting of our homosexual neighbors.

And that in itself is the movie’s strength:  we do see them as people, people like ourselves.

Okay, but remember it’s an Oedipus trip, and very few of us will EVER go as far as our hero/heroine, the young transvestite Eddie does,  but still . . .

So why am I so vehemently protesting my ‘not gayness’?  Because this is a disturbingly sexy movie if you’re straight.  From the very first scene you’re submerged in it’s eroticism. And it never let’s up.  Particularly because the lead character is so impossibly beautiful, you’re hooked and reeled in like a fish into his homo-seductive underworld.

I mean this seriously.

Funeral Parade of Roses should come with a Government Health Warning:  Danger, This Film Might Make You Gay’, or something like that.

At the very least, it’ll make you wonder.  It made me wonder.

My 2 Favorite books of 2011

1. Cows by Matt Stokoe. 

I know this was released ages ago, but I just read it. Fantastic book. Okay it is exceptionally mad, but what saves it from being trivia is the fact he writes it seriously, not as disposable fiction.

Cows everyone. Definitely not for the faint-hearted.  Best fiction I read last year, bar none.

2. Lost in Cat Brain Land by Cameron Pierce.

A great collection of Weirrrd short stories. No one does it like Cameron does.

***

I read both these books twice last year.

To rank a book as mediocre, average, good, or fantastic, I ask myself a simple question: would I read it again simply for the feeling it gives me?
Sadly, I’ve read few books which fit that category. Both these two do however. I’d read either again just to kill time if I was bored.